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Witchy Enough
by Karistan

Many years ago when I was a little girl I remember being a witch for Halloween. I had a black dress, a big pointed hat, which was too big by far, and a broom. My mother had painted my face green with greasepaint and put big ugly black warts on prime spots with eyeliner. I had a ball that night, cackling in my childish voice, telling my little sister that I was going to ride off on my broomstick. This is one of the earliest memories I have. I believe I was five.

I find it odd that I've come full circle. It's only taken 20 years, but here I am. Only this time I'm not wearing an overly-large pointed hat, nor am I a cackling green-faced child. I am once more a witch. This time it's not for one night out of the year. Over the last year and a half I've jumped feet first into this religion. I truly had come home when I dreamt of the God and Goddess that February night. To be honest, I should have known all along that I'm pagan. Hindsight really is 20-20 it seems. The signs and portents were there all along, disregarded in ignorance. Many pagans that I talk to experienced the same 'coming home' in one way or another. Being relatively new to the Path I have much to learn. More than I can fathom.

During the past year I have met many pagans. Many who are as clueless as I am. Some who have been practicing for as long as I've been alive, and know more than I probably ever will. I do know that I'm just as much a witch as the greybeards. My Goddess is the same Goddess. If this is true, then why, pray tell; is getting information about the Craft from many of my peers harder than pulling teeth with a crystal ball? Whenever I ask a question, no matter how inconsequential, why do my eyes meet with a distanced appraisal? Do I have to find all my answers in a mountain of esoteric books by people I've never met, most of which are on subjects that I really am not ready to understand? Do I have to be initiated into whichever coven? Do I just not look 'witchy' enough be taken seriously? I may never know, but it's damned frustrating! Educating myself seems to be a spiral of the same questions without answer circling back to haunt me. What can be done other than sitting on someone until they answer my questions [this won't be difficult as I'm a big girl!]? Some patience and understanding on the part of the one questioned. Come on, is five minutes going to give away the "secrets" of a tradition? At worst they can be assaulted with other questions, and earn a little awe from the one being enlightened, while having what we hope is at least a semi-intelligent conversation. Remember that there are no dumb questions. Well, there are, but can't we forgive those that can't quite grasp the concept of one subject or another. It happens. We've all been there, I hope. We've all been new at one point or another.

All I'm asking is that the more knowledgeable of us impart some of their wisdom to us young'uns. I know I'd be more than appreciative for a little time, and it may make my Path a little less confusing. Being a witch is easy when you're five years old and have a big pointy hat. Being a grown-up witch trying to stumble towards understanding of this vast religion isn't. Though I thought about getting the hat.