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Safety First
by Jasmine
Moondancer
For those of you who may not know it, I have been a
Wiccan for seven years now. So when I had a child,
I began having some thoughts: how does one raise a Wiccan
child in today’s society?
I asked my mother (a Catholic, but she told me that
“so long as you believe in SOMETHING, I’m okay with
it”). She said, “Well, you don’t really want him to
be different from the other kids, right?”
Um, maybe…
“Well, then, why not raise him Christian? He’ll be
more accepted.”
Excuse me?
“If the kids in his school find out that he’s, well,
different, they’ll pick on him more.”
That’s true whether I raise him Wiccan or Catholic!
“Yes, well, you know what I mean.”
No, not really.
“He’ll be, you know… different.”
Okay. No sense arguing this one with my mother. Soon
after this conversation, I was wearing my pendant with
the pentacle on it and she had a fit. So I ask my husband.
“Raise him Wiccan.”
Happy to hear it.
“Just tell him not to tell people.”
Excuse me?
“Well, people are still picking on Wiccans, putting
burning crosses on their lawns, firing them from their
jobs and all, and I’m afraid that he’ll get hurt.”
You’re kidding me, right?
“No, actually, I’m not”
So, he’s not allowed to wear a symbol of his religion?
“No, he’s not; at least, not until he’s old enough
to defend himself.”
And if someone asks him what religion he practices?
“Agnostic.”
Tell our son to lie?
“Er… yes. He’ll be safer.”
Safety. Both my husband and my mother are concerned
that if I raise my son in the religion I believe in,
that his safety will be endangered. How do you answer
that? Safety is an issue for any parent, but should
it be a special concern for Wiccan parents?
Bigotry comes in all shapes and sizes, from the “your
skin is a different color” to “you don’t believe in
God??” Simple bigotry has been the cause of more death
and destruction in human history than anything other
than greed. It has caused countless amounts of human
suffering. But this is the 21st century,
right? People are more open to alternative lifestyles,
right? Right?
Okay, We still have a long way to go in that department.
But for the most part, we are becoming more and more
accepted by society, and stepping back into the broom
closet shouldn’t be an option. So, knowing that your
child may or may not face bigotry, how do you prepare
him?
Well, for starters, you could do your best to see to
it that your son it taught to defend himself against
those people who would be cruel enough to pick on someone
who happens to be different. You could see to it that
he is educated enough to talk to those people with open
minds. You could see to it that he knows when to run,
and when to take a stand.
In other words, you could raise him just like you would
raise any little boy who happens NOT to be Christian
in this country.
Do people think that Muslim parents sit there and think
about not raising their children Muslim because it makes
them different? What about the Buddhist families out
there? Or the Hindus? Is it necessary to raise a child
in such a way that a huge chunk of his life is a lie
just to make him safe? At what point does it become
shame, rather than fear?
I happen to think that you raise your children the
best that you can. I was raised Christian, but I was
still different. It didn’t save me from being picked
on, or beat up, or laughed at. Not once did the other
kids ask me what religion I was when they needed a reason
to hit me. They just did.
A child’s religion should be a matter between themselves
and their parents, and eventually between themselves
and whatever gods they choose to worship, if any.
And safety shouldn’t factor into it at all.
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